Let
Me Tell You Something Before You Go
I get passed
around every year, but I thought that you would be different. I didn't expect you to use me and then abandon
me as soon as the summer came along, just like everyone else before you has
done. Now I’m forced to sit alone in the
hallways for the next two months until I wait for the next person.
I’m here today,
the last day, to confront you about the abuse you put me through. I want to tell you the emotional and physical
torture you had put me through every day. For years I've dreamed about telling a student
off, and I have finally grown the hooks and screws to do it.
You slammed me multiple times a day and never
even bothered to apologize. A simple “sorry”
would have been fine, but I guess you never thought about that. You only knew me by three numbers, which you
could never remember when your friends ask you where I was. It hurt me so much to watch you walk by, but
never acknowledge my presence. You've
reduced me to feeling like just a collection of wood and metal. Not the individual I am.
Our
relationship was full of trust issues. Putting
a lock on me was just uncalled for. What was I going to do? Run? You often forget the code and then you would slam
your fist against me again and again. If
your friends put the lock on backwards, it just caused even more abuse. You never relented on releasing your anger
upon me.
The worst day
was when you carved into me with a knife. The pain of your blade carving into my wood
was nothing compared to the pain I felt when I saw what you had written. You carved your initials in a heart with that
bimbo Karly’s. I have to live with that
scar forever until the janitor decides to buff it out. That could take years, maybe even decades! You know that this school doesn’t like to
invest in custodians. What made that day
even worse was when you made out with her right up against me. You treated me
like I wasn’t even there. How could you
do that? After all we had been through…
I
should have known that this was coming. You
were just like the rest. You never once
visited me on the weekend and you never looked happy to see me Monday morning. I was only here to serve your needs. I held your books for you. I held your coat and your wet disgusting boots
during the winter. Did I ever get a thank you? No! I
just get yelled at for when your papers got wet. There was no respect.
I
saw those university brochures. You were
ready to leave me from day one. I’ve
seen the photos of those other lockers. Those
petite shiny lockers outshine me. I
thought that you may have had the decency to at least talk about this to me
first. Were you just going to leave
without saying goodbye?
Well, you know
what? Go enjoy your summer and your
university. I won’t pay attention to you
humans anymore. You weren’t worth the
pain and suffering.
I like how you immediately established the tone, and made us laugh. You delivered it very dramatically, which was cool. It made me think differently about my locker. I think that it would be interesting to explore the character of the locker owner.
ReplyDeleteMallory, you made me pity my locker which is something I definitely thought would never happen. You delivered this really well and had me laughing! I liked how it wasn't totally clear that your protagonist was a locker until around the third paragraph. I found this really funny, good job!
ReplyDeleteI don't think i stopped laughing through this one. You absolutely killed it, it was so funny and very true! I loved all the examples you gave and the tone you established. Good job girl!
ReplyDeleteI liked how you integrated a rant into a Point of View piece, and you made me feel really bad about not talking to my locker or closing it too hard. It was absolutely hysterical and I couldn't stop laughing! It was really well done!
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThis was extremely amusing! Not only did it personify the locker but it was an interesting observation of the students at the school. Expanding on the person some more might have made the story a little better. Good work!
ReplyDeleteVery nice job at easing the reader into the realization of the narrator's point of view. Considering it's a POV piece, I expected there to be quite a few double meaning's in the narrator's descriptions, but the ones you chose were hilarious. The description of the abuse, neglect, and trust issues paralleling an actual relationship created a great comedic effect. Good stuff!
ReplyDeleteThis was really funny! I especially liked how the locker 'grew the hooks and screws' to tell its owner off for neglecting it. You presentation was very confident and the writing is fluid. Keep it up!
ReplyDeleteI agree with Jane, the writing was very fluid. You were able to give a strong, kind of admirable personality to a locker, which had to have been no easy task. Great job!
ReplyDeleteLoved how I had to figure out that it was a locker. Very funny. Who knew a locker could be so involved. Keep up the good work,
ReplyDeleteThe characterization of a locker for a POV piece is very smart. The tone is established immediately and does not falter once. Very unique take on such a wallflower object. I feel the overwhelming need to go hug every locker I now see.
ReplyDeleteLoved the characterization of the locker. I really felt like this was what a locker would say if it could talk. Can't wait to see what you write next.
ReplyDelete-Andrew H